You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
