Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
