there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
