I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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