There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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