you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
