think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize