please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
