Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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