With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
