Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize