He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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