I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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