Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
