I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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