I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
