Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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