Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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