I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
