was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
