He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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