escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My ATM looks so different sober.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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