Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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