he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
