I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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