he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
