So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
