I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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