i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
