No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize