dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
not ubering you a puppy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
