About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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