I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
