you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Your penis caused this!
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