Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
