also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
