I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
