ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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