they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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