ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
