Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize