I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
