apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Is it because I queefed?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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