fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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