the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
