we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
