Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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