hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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