ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
