remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
