well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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