My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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