Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
