We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
