Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
