That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
