Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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