new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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