Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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