Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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