So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
