3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
