omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
